2012年1月21日 星期六

老朋友

今日同個 friend 去飲茶, 講起佢最近參加o左 boxing 去 keep fit, 然後竟然愛上左呢個活動... 佢話, 工作都少o左壓力, 因為生活中多o左個 focus...

我o地亦都好慨嘆生活, 睇完<天與地>, 真係會諗, 以前o既熱愛, 夢想, 隨住年紀同埋人生閱歷而顿然無全... 是可悲.點解o甘多人往往會輸俾現實呢?

黃昏時, 走返屋企o既路途中, 見到我好耐都無見o既''老朋友'', haha, 就係足球啦~

突然好有衝動去買...結果, 買o左個2號波仔... = )

一路上, 雖然只係抱住佢, 但係, 好多開心,年輕時o既回憶...

樂觀的企業文化

我而家間公司, company culture 真係好正面. 大部分時間, 員工之間呀, manager 呀, 甚至 top executives 都非常 encouraging, 往往會 focus on 你o既'成就', 毫不吝嗇o甘讚; 而有錯誤, 亦都會 take care 大家o既心理, 輕輕帶過. 當然唔係個個係o甘, 但係以我o既 observation, 呢個係 norm...

係好o既, 但係, 有時, 就真係過份樂觀, 有 d 忽略o左 risks... 有些少擔心...

好似今日 CEO send o左個 email 俾全 global o既員工, 事緣有位某大銀行高層新加盟我o地, 佢就 comment o左我地o既 IT system... 話好 impressed wor... 因為 ''easy to use''... 跟住, 我o地老大就 send e-mail 大肆'宣揚'...

um... 老實講, 人o地新 join, 唔通'踩'你咩, 仲有, easy to use 真係唔代表好好喎... 安全性, 精確度等其他 areas, 都係重要考慮...

2012年1月20日 星期五

中港罵戰的反思

前天, 有一單引起廣泛討論的'中港罵戰'...我看了以後, 只感到極度無奈, 的確, 香港和國內在這幾年的position之變化, 在各人心理上有明顯的負面影響... 所以很多情況, 可能單單一句說話, 就會被無限放大, 甚至引起民族level上的激烈回應...唉, 真的有此必要嗎?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

在百度上找到的一篇評論, 個人認為, 中肯之言也:

<香港地铁内进食引发骂战的双方都该反思>

据报道,近日一条“内地游客在香港地铁进食引发争议”的微博激起网友讨论。骂战的导火线是,内地去的小女孩在车厢内吃点心面,有乘客提醒“车厢内不能吃东西”。随后,小女孩的母亲和一位港男对骂,母亲的同行女子和几位港人也加入骂战。而小女孩在过程中劝阻妈妈:“是我们错了。”(1月19日华声在线)

如果笔者不看这条新闻,也不知道香港的地铁竟然还有这么一条规定。当然在内地,在公共交通工具的空间里不吃东西这是一条基本的公共道德准则,但并不具有强制性;香港地铁对此却规定了具有强制遵守意味的处罚条例:按照港铁附例,任何人不得在港铁付费区内饮食,否则可罚款2000元。正因为内地地铁还没有这样的规定,所以很多刚到香港乘坐地铁的内地游客可能会有一些不适应,这应该在可以理解的范畴之内。

具体说到这个内地游客和香港市民地铁内因为孩子进食引发的骂战,笔者认为不能动辄以素质论来给这场骂战定调。诚然,孩子在香港地铁内进食有违香港地铁的管理条例,作为香港市民,有义务和责任提醒孩子的父母约束一下孩子的行为,如果孩子的父母不听劝阻,可以报警或告知地铁管理人员出面来干涉,但没有必要在孩子们面前和其父母们展开对骂,这样的场景只能让孩子对成人之间沟通问题的方式产生恐惧,不能对孩子起到很好的教育作用。

再说说在地铁内进食的孩子的父母:既然是去香港旅游,那么去旅游之前对目的地的风土人情、各种禁忌都应该有所了解,以免遭遇无端麻烦,这是旅游前的基本常识,正如到新加坡旅游必须了解在新加坡公共场所涂鸦很可能遭受鞭刑,到香港旅游虽然冒犯了公秩良序不会遭受那么恐怖的惩罚,但罚款肯定是避免不了的,所以从避免经济损失这个角度说,也得事先对香港公共场所的相关管理规定和各种约定俗成的民间公认秩序有所了解,以免给自己带来麻烦和不愉快心情。

退一步讲,即使因为自己的不了解,给对方带来了不快,那么大大方方的承认个错误,获取对方的谅解,本不是什么抹不开面子下不来台的难事,可是在一些国人的眼中,承认错误比登天还难,即使明知理亏,也要死硬着脖子理直气壮的吵,以期在声势上压倒对方,但孩子的一句“是我们错了”让成年人的争吵显得那么苍白无力,滑稽可笑。缺乏公德意识,不仅仅体现在对公共秩序的不遵守,同样体现在公共区间里,在有孩子在现场的时候,成人之间的无礼和跋扈,从这个角度来说,和孩子母亲对骂的那个香港男士也未必就多么高尚有素质。

得理不饶人和无理争三分都不是有素质的表现,唯有以孩子般的坦诚和认真去沟通,才能做到互相礼让和理解,争吵也许就不会发生,动辄以素质论来定性的评论,过时矣!

2012年1月19日 星期四

Touching stories about Marriage

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

2012年1月18日 星期三

Correspondence Bias

呢個詞我真的不太懂,只是今天在報章上看到一篇很有趣的文章時學來的:

From Mingpao @ 19/01/2012

<用fb愈長愈易妒忌朋友 常看他人開心相自感不幸>

覺得人生一片灰暗?最快捷的解決辦法,可能是刪掉facebook帳號!美國一項研究發現,使用fb愈多,愈容易相信他人活得較快樂,令自己妒忌不快。

美國猶他谷大學(Utah Valley University)社會學家訪問425名大學生,了解他們及其友人的快樂程度,例如是否同意「生命是公平的」、「許多朋友活得比我好」等描述,然後研究員會請受訪者描述他們使用fb的情,包括有多少個「朋友」、當中有多少人是在現實生活中相識的等等。受訪者中95%有用fb,平均使用了2.5年,每周使用近5小時。

多與朋友親身交流 較少悲觀

研究員發現,撇除性別、宗教及感情狀,受訪者使用fb時間愈長,愈會同意他人過得較快樂,亦明顯傾向認同人生並不公平,若受訪者的「朋友」大多是實際上不太認識的人,情更嚴重。相反,較多和朋友親身交流接觸的受訪者,較少認為自己人生不幸。

負責研究的社會學家周慧慈(Hui-Tzu Grace Chou,譯音)認為,此現象屬常見的「對應偏差」(correspondence bias),指基於有限資料,對他人作錯誤判斷,例如看見他人在fb張貼的愉快照片,就會認為「他人『永遠』都是快樂的,有美好的生活」。人們知道現實認識的朋友生命有起跌,但對於不認識的網友,所知的僅是帶笑的照片,容易令人自感不幸。

自由經濟的悲哀

From Appledaily @ 19/01/2012

<全院滿座不及 LV賣個袋>

自由行魔力  UA戲院遭名店迫遷

銅鑼灣波斯富街小店被貴租打殘,拜內地同胞驚人消費力所賜。附近的時代 UA戲院亦被名店入侵,月底將暫時結束 18年業務,據知該處將以天價 2,000萬元月租租給國際品牌 Louis Vuitton,變成自由行購物熱點。

位於銅鑼灣時代廣場地下和一樓的時代 UA戲院營業到本月 31日便暫時結業。自 18年前時代廣場建成後,時代 UA戲院就一直見證着該區的興旺,諷刺的是隨着人流增加,自由行爭相前往購物花費,就在內地這股似用之不竭的資金支持下,地舖租金連年水漲船高,時代 UA在今年頭約滿後獲通知不被續約,故需暫時停止營業,稍後有機會搬上 12、 13樓繼續經營。

一個月營業額逾兩億

據知,時代 UA每年營業額約 4,000萬元,每月租金 110多萬元,而法國品牌 LV則以月租 2,000萬元進駐,兩者租金不可同日而語。這個對於戲院商看似是天價的金額,對內地大款趨之若鶩的名店來說絕不算貴,有數可計。就以 LV尖沙嘴廣東道店為例,前年 12月旺季營業額據知達 2億多元,該店的皮袋由 6,000餘元至 30餘萬元都有,以人均消費 2萬元、每日有 400人幫襯計算,單日就做到 800萬元生意,一個月有 2億多元營業額,交租可謂輕而易舉。只要見到每日各名店外穿流不息的人龍,就知道名店交租並非難事。

負責經營時代 UA戲院的娛藝院線有限公司副總經理、身兼戲院商會理事長的黃韋琪,與從事戲院生意 37年的副理事長崔顯威,日前接受本報記者訪問時表示明白地產商的決定,崔顯威說:「在商言商,無可厚非,如果好似你所講出到 2,000萬一個月,應該冇戲院商負擔得起。」假如以時代 UA一日播影六場戲、每場平均票價 75元、坐滿 813個位計算,每場收入也不過約 6萬元,不及一個 LV高價袋的價值。整月計算,戲院收入不足 1,100萬元,淨交租都不夠,還未計其他開支。

時代廣場董事凌緣庭早前透露,會騰空時代廣場原先是食通天的 12、 13樓作戲院用途。黃韋琪表示歡迎:「我哋一直有同業主溝通,喺圖則上一直有畀意見,對成事好有信心。」

戲院或搬至 12、 13樓

崔顯威透露,目前戲院經營困難,數目亦嚴重不足:「以前戲院同業主嘅租金係個梗數,家已經好少呢樣嘢,一般商場會同院商簽定底租,或用營業額兩成半作為租金,以較高者為準。一張戲票分完一半比片主之後,要同業主對分。」他又說:「時代 UA月底停業,幾時開番冇人知,北角新光做埋 2月業主就會收番,到時銅鑼灣區就得番 MCL JP、皇室同埋總統三間院七個銀幕,大概有 1,332個位,要照顧灣仔、天后、北角同銅鑼灣嘅人,唔夠戲院變相剝奪市民睇戲權利。」崔顯威稱,當年戲院肩負起娛樂以外的責任:「以前暴動,戲院就用嚟粉飾太平,畀人入場忘憂;七十年代政府發展衞星城市,又規定要有戲院吸引啲人搬入去。」他表示以早年天水圍為例,政府就曾在賣地條款上加入要有戲院的條款:「戲院唔夠嘅唔只港島區,新界區火車沿線大埔、上水同粉嶺都冇戲院,睇戲都要跨區去到沙田睇!」

一百年的聯係

From Appledaily @ 19/01/2012

<協和號生還女客 祖母坐鐵達尼獲救>

如果,命運由人選擇, 30歲的卡普阿諾( Valentina Capuano)肯定不會再和未婚夫、弟弟和弟弟女友登上歌詩達「協和號」豪華郵輪。她從沒想過, 100年前發生在祖母和舅公身上的「鐵達尼號」船難,會殘酷得再在同一家人身上降臨,令鐵達尼和協和號出現百年聯繫。

卡普阿諾的祖母叫瑪麗亞( Maria),雖然不是電影《鐵達尼號》女主角露絲( Rose),但命運與露絲一樣,自己僥倖生還,卻痛失至親。

舅公葬身大海

1912年,瑪麗亞和 25歲哥哥喬瓦尼( Giovanni)一同登上鐵達尼號,準備到美國開展新的人生,可惜鐵達尼撞上冰山翻沉。在郵輪任職待應的喬瓦尼,出事時相信與郵輪一眾紳士一樣,盡力照顧婦孺,沒有像協和號的懦夫船長那樣倉惶逃命,結果葬身大海,成為船難中 1,517名罹難者之一。
卡普阿諾說,在協和號下沉一刻,想起祖母的經歷感覺,猶如「歷史重演」。幸好悲慘的結局沒有重演,她們一行四人全部有驚無險,但她猶有餘悸:「當我想起我經歷的劫難,我還是很害怕、情緒低落,感到心悸。」陰影久久不能消散。